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- THINGS COLUMBUS WOULD SAY IF HE LANDED IN AMERICA TODAY
-
-
- 10. "I'M 542 YEARS OLD AND WILLARD SCOTT STILL WON'T WISH ME
- A HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
-
- 9. "I ANCHORED MY SHIP UP HERE JUST A MINUTE AGO -- AND NOW
- IT'S GONE!"
-
- 8. "AH, A GAP STORE! FINALLY, A FAMILIAR SIGHT."
-
- 7. "FABIO! PUT A SHIRT ON! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"
-
- 6. "I'VE COME FOR SILKS, SPICES AND A SHOT AT MADONNA."
-
- 5. "LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT,,, YOU CALL THIS NUMBER AND A
- LADY TALKS DIRTY TO YOU? COOL!"
-
- 4. "BRING ME TO QUEEN OPRAH."
-
- 3. "WHERE CAN I GET ME ONE OF THEM THIGHMASTERS?"
-
- 2. I'M READY TO 'DISCOVER' A QUART OF BUD LIGHT AND SOME
- HOOKERS."
-
- 1. "HURRY, I'M LATE FOR THE WHOOPI ROAST."
-
- Letterman, Monday, October 17, 1994
- Originally Aired October 12, 1993
- Copyright Worldwide Pant, Inc. 1993
-